Women's March

Goodness gracious, I have had every intention to write a blog post every day for the past week but my emotions have changed minute to minute making it nearly impossible.

I'm going to make this quick because my wife is trying to fall asleep next to me but I can't let another day go by without somewhat capturing my thoughts.

Last week I was in Washington DC. I was there for the Women's March and for the Inauguration, too. To put it mildly, the Women's March was one of the coolest things of my life. Being among 1.5 million people, women and men, young kids and elderly people, too – with the majority of them there to say, “I’m here. I’m here for myself and I’m here for you. I’m here for all of us!” 
Like, when I saw a sign that had something to do with LGBTQ rights I’d stop for a quick second and do something that might be equivalent to saying a silent prayer that my family would be protected. There were straight people holding signs promoting my equal rights. When I held up my sign that said I was marching for my marriage and for my baby girl I had straight people, both women and men, tell me that if this administration comes after my family they’ll be there to fight along side me.  I’m (obviously) not black and I was screaming ‘Black Lives Matter!’ like my life depended on it – because it does. When any of my black sisters and brothers are discriminated against so am I! And let me be clear, yelling ‘Black Lives Matter!’ doesn’t mean that my life doesn’t, that police lives don’t or that anyone’s life doesn’t matter. That’s ridiculous. 

So the march was awesome. 

And then, a week later the new President signs an executive order to ban of muslims. What the heck. How did that happen. How was that man elected as our President? What kind of world is Poppy coming in to. We will teach our daughter to love, be kind to, fight for and protest next to all people - not only those that look and think like her while her government has a different idea of that to teach our kids.

Our President is making it hard to be proud to be an America right now but the silver lining - so many American's are making me proud (and yes, many aren't). American's are resisting. There are protests in every city. Representatives offices are being bombarded with phone calls. People have been woken up and they are acting. I mean, shit, last night Seatac was shut down by protesters! Incredible. Power to the people!

So yeah, I am nervous about Poppy coming into this world but I can hardly wait to get her here! Only 11 weeks to go! She is 16 inches long and nearly 3 lbs. 

Family Heirlooms

Yesterday was an incredibly special day - I will remember it forever, no doubt.

I've never really understood family heirlooms - the idea of having something that belonged to a parent or a grandparent. Like, I remember when my grandma Jean died. My dad asked if there was anything I wanted - maybe something that would remind me of her. I didn't want anything. The only thing I needed was the novels of memories I had of her. All of the sleepovers at her house with late nights playing cards and 'court' and specialty pancakes in the morning. I remember the nutcracker and the annual outing to Lagoon. I remember her parties and her spunk. I didn't need anything of hers - she gave me so many memories that would make it impossible to forget her.

But my moms wedding ring! I have loved and admired that thing since I was little. She has told me throughout the years that I would get it when she dies - mostly because none of my siblings made a big deal out of it and I've gushed about it many times. I would talk about it with friends and I tried to draw a picture of it for an assignment in elementary school. And the thing is, I don't particularly like jewelry. And my moms ring is far from my style!

So - to put it mildly I was shocked when my mom gave me her ring a couple months ago. She gave it to me when Erin and I went to Utah for Memorial Day. We went with a group of friends to Moab and made a stop at home for a couple nights. It was uncomfortable to accept. She's told me I would get it after she died - but mom insisted and told me over and over that she doesn't wear it anymore because her hands hurt, sometimes get swollen and sometimes reacts to jewelry. She told me that she's starting to give some of her things away and that it was important to her to give me the ring. 

I brought the ring back to to Seattle and spent a lot of time looking at it wondering what I was going to do with it. And then I decided. With moms approval, I decided I was going to make two rings with it, one for me and one for Erin - a Mothers Ring for both of us in preparation for Poppy's arrival. 

With the help of a trusted jeweler, we decided to remove the diamond to put on another band for Erin and to make a few alterations to the original band for me.  I received the call from the jeweler yesterday that they were finished and ready to pick up. I felt nervous driving to get them. 

It didn't take more than a few seconds after laying eyes on them to have a most prized physical possession. 

When I put on my new ring I felt strong. When I tried on the ring for Erin I became giddy thinking of her reaction. When I looked at them side by side and imagined us both wearing them holding our Poppy I completely broke down - right there in the store.

My mom wore her wedding ring as she cared for me as a baby - and as she cared for my siblings. She wore it as she dug in the dirt making our yard beautiful, as she trained for and ran all of her marathons and as she filled our home with music on the piano. She wore it as she taught me how to love myself, care for others and how to work hard. She wore this ring as she wiped away my tears when I came out to her. I remember mentioning (for maybe the millionth time) how much I loved her ring during that conversation. She wore the ring for longer than I've been alive and now I get to wear it. 

My mom is my hero - despite everything. She seems to have magical powers. Somehow, even though she at times worked 5 jobs (at once), found ways to teach me and my siblings to love and like each other, how to serve by serving others herself, the importance of taking care of yourself and the importance of appreciating nature by training and running marathons - there is nothing my mom couldn't do. And now she is sick. She's been sick for 10+ years. She's tired and she hopes her time here is coming to an end. I can't blame her although the thought of her not being here is really hard.

But, for some reason, having her ring makes it a little easier. I have something that was with her as she did everything for me! And I get to wear it I attempt to do everything for Poppy. 

And I have to mention, Erin's reaction was so sweet. I wrote a letter expressing the significance of the rings and we cried together as we looked at them on our fingers. We have felt ready to care for Poppy but for whatever reason we feel more ready and better equipped. :) I am so eager to see my moms diamond on my wife as she cares for our baby girl - and maybe we will pass the family heirloom to her someday.

The original ring

I have the band and Erin has the diamond

Oh, and today starts week 26! Poppy's eyes are opening this week and her adult tooth buds are developing. 

Intentional

Just like that 2016 is gone and the first day of 2017 only has a few more hours.

I am glad to start a new year. 2016 was good to me - and it was hard. The new political climate is hard to digest but aside from that I don't have many complaints. I am healthy, surrounded with love, have a fulfilling job and a baby on the way!

I'm not really good at resolutions. I like to pick words that guide my actions and this year my word is: INTENTIONAL. I will be intentional about how I use my time, how I treat myself and others. I will be more intentional about what I allow in my body - not just food but what I allow in my eyes and ears, too. I will be intentional about accepting the changes that are sure to come and I will be intentional about laughing at myself and forgiving myself when I fall short.

So - this year started in Costa Rica - the start of our belated Honeymoon and it ended in Roslyn, WA. We were there for Brenen and Lacey's winter wonderland wedding. We sure jammed a lot in 365 days! Costa Rica, New York, San Francisco, Vancouver BC  a couple trips to Bliss and a handful to Utah - including one to Moab and another to watch Curtis get married (still can't believe it!), and I tacked on a couple solo work trips - Vegas twice, DC twice and Arizona (in the middle of summer - I thought I was going to melt). We both took leaps in our careers, became more dedicated to our health,  we got a new nephew, made memories with friends and family, bought a couple cars, joined Harley in doggie bootcamp (in preparation for Poppy) and oh yeah, and we made a baby!

Like I said, the year ended in Roslyn, WA. It was a perfect place to say goodbye to 2016 and welcome 2017. We watched some of our favorite people get married on Dec 30th and there was so much love and kindness and SNOW at the wedding. It was a reminder of the goodness in the world despite the confusion and fear I have felt since election day. Not to mention, it was my first time attending a winter wedding - and I LOVED it! Snow makes everything feel particularly magical. The next morning, NYE, we went snowshoeing with Erica and Jacquie. Blue skies, new snow, grateful hearts and able bodies. Perfect conditions, no doubt. The rest of NYE was spent watching football, lounging around the hotel room and dinner with friends - and a snow storm. I think the earth was preparing for a clean start to 2017!

The Brides! 

Poppy's second time snowshoeing this week!

We are back home now - we got here this morning - and it feels nice. We took down Christmas, spent time in Poppy's room moving things around, talked about how nice it feels in here, watched the Seahawks and had a homemade dinner together. We talked about the things we're going to do this year. This year is going to be the most life changing year to date and we both welcome the changes, the struggles, the growth and the indescribable fear that is associated with all of it.

364 days left this year - I will be intentional to make them the best that I can! And I'll do a lot of it holding my wife's hand!