Poppy scored on Christmas!

It's true, we opened more presents for Poppy than we opened for ourselves. She totally scored and she's not even here yet! And I am totally annoying - I squealed every time we opened something for her - it's all so cute and soft and little. Little onesies, little pants, little (and SOFT) blankets. Erin is in for it!

We got back to Seattle around noon and slept most of the rest of the day away! Erin crashed on the couch and I went in to bed.  I feel like I need a week nap to recover from the last couple days. We were up late nearly every night and up early and on the go in between. I laughed a lot and cried a lot, too. The tears were mostly tears of gratitude and happiness. I loved being home. It felt really special this year. I got to have two conversations with my mom that I'll never forget and we got to visit with grandma Carol and sing Christmas songs with her. I spent time with all of my siblings and with Tol, Addi, Ben and Wooly, too. AND it was the last Christmas not being a parent.  I kept thinking of what it might be like next year. Wild.

A few weeks ago Erin asked me if I [still] worried that people in my family wouldn't feel [as much of] a connection with Poppy as the other kiddos because she won't be biologically related to me (years ago I mentioned that it was a fear of mine) and honestly I have continued to wonder about it a little bit. But man, after this week any wonder or fear or worry has been replaced with complete assurance and confidence and pride. I can't express how grateful I am to be apart of the crazy Nelson bunch and how grateful I am that Poppy will be apart of them, too!

A quick recap - we got into Utah on the 23rd, rented a car and drove straight to Park City for the Nelson Christmas party. It was snowy and beautiful and wonderful and so fun to be with the extended family. There was a lot of laughter, delicious food, Christmas songs and good conversation.

On Christmas Eve morning we celebrated mom's 60 birthday by making her breakfast and cleaning out the storage room. It seems like a lame present but that's what she wanted. There were a couple times I turned to Erin and vowed to stop holding on to stuff because I don't want our kids to clean out our future storage room and find junk that we've been holding on to for 20+ years. We agreed that storage rooms should be used for gear and holiday decorations and some kid stuff.

We carried on the gingerbread making party and Christmas jammie's at Jami's house that evening. Mine gingerbread house was a total bust. My house turned into a VW Bus. I think my dad won this year. He was totally into it.

After the houses Erin and I went back to my parents house to visit with my mom - she wasn't feeling up to Jami's house - and had a conversation I will never forget. We talked about her illness and the loneliness she feels. We talked about the past and laughed and cried a bit. We made plans to go on a trip to Canada - I want to take her on the ferry that takes you to Bliss Landing. I have seen some of the prettiest sights I've ever seen on that ferry. I had a hard time going to bed that night because I was overcome with emotion and so much love for my mom and my family - and for my own life. I also felt so thankful that I my mom mirrored that kind of mom I want to be to Poppy. I have confidence in my ability to be a good mom largely because of my own mom's example.

Christmas morning started at 6:30 for me. I drove back to Jami's and watched her kiddos open gifts while Erin slept. I wanted to be there - I wanted to see the look on their faces. And I'm so glad I did! We all went to church together. It was the first time I've been to a Mormon church unapologetically. I was actually proud to be there. I was there with my wife and my family.  I wore slacks and a sweater and I felt comfortable. I smiled at the people when I received confused glances. I held Erin's hand and put my arm around her. I was myself. I was myself for the first time EVER inside of the church that I gave so much of myself to - and it was incredible. I felt free and powerful and beautiful. And I felt proud to be there with Erin.

We went home for cranberry muffins and presents and then a few of us went snowshoeing. I am so happy we did that. We went to Little Cottonwood Canyon and aside from it being breathtaking, it was nice to get out and about after eating so many sweets. Everyone contributed to Christmas dinner that night and it was delicious - and the meal ended with going around the table talking about the best part of 2016 and what we're most looking forward to for 2017.

The best part of 2016 for me was continuing to know that dreams can come true. I have a life that I didn't know existed a few years ago. I thought life was supposed to be hard and I didn't think I'd ever have what I have now. I didn't think I'd have a wife and kids were in my cards. And I never thought I'd have a job that I love as much as I love the job I have. It's taken mental practice but I've learned that my mind makes up a lot of my reality. There are a lot of hard things that happen in my life but the way I choose to deal with them makes all the difference. I feel incredibly blessed to have a greater understanding of the power of my mind - only because I've practiced using it! And for 2017 I am most looking forward to Poppy getting here! I feel as ready as I can feel because of the relationships I have in my life. I have Erin and I know we will work together well to raise our daughter. We are good teammates and we love each other so dang much. I have my parents who have mirrored good parenting to me and I have my siblings - and they do more for me than words could ever explain.  So bring on 2017!

Yesterday we explored Salt Lake, visited Curt and Karina's new apartment and spent the evening at grandma's house. Another highlight of the trip was going to grandma's. It was nice to visit with her but the real treat was hearing my mom play the piano!

And now it is back to reality. We are home in Seattle. We are in our cozy little house with the Christmas lights on, candles lit, Harley in his bed and Erin's reading. It's nice to be home.

Life is good.

Now to share one of the best parts of the holiday. Singing around the piano!