Feminist Army

1. 
   
   

   This week we went to a Women's Funding Alliance event. The topic -

   Intergenerational Feminism. It was an incredible couple hours hearing about what it means to be a feminist. There were 4 women on a panel - all born in a different decade. It was sooo cool and informative and felt particularly important as we prepare for Poppy to get here.

   
   

   Feminist is sometimes viewed as a bad word and not a popular thing to be. Perhaps it has a male hating vibe or something. History books label women that fought for women's rights as social deviants. But check out the definition. Every person - man and woman should identify with being a feminist! 

   
   

   fem·i·nist

   ˈfemənəst/

   1. 
      
      
      

      adjective, Sometimes, feministic

      1.
      

      advocating social, political, legal, and economic rights for womenequal to those of men.

      noun

      2.
      

      an advocate of such rights.

   Pam Eakes, who is now one of my heroes, was one of the panelists. Look her up - she'll become a hero of yours too. She spoke about wanting so badly to pass the torch of strong feminism to younger generations. I felt like she talking directly to me. I want that torch! I welcome it! I want to fight for women and girls to have every opportunity - I want it for me, for Erin, for all of our friends and family - but I especially want it for baby girl! 

   
   

   I want to be clear, I want to fight for women and girls for the men and boys in my life too! Fighting for women and girls allows everyone to be a more complete person and allows everyone, regardless of gender, to live a more authentic life. I hear things said to men and boys like, 'man up', 'be a man', 'don't cry - be tough'. I hear things like, 'don't be a girl' and 'you're such a pussy' which are meant to be demeaning and insulting and I hear things like 'you should grow a pair' which is said to encourage toughness. It's crazy how we shape our boys and girls with our language. 

   
   

   Which leads me to the Presidential race. 

   
   

   Today it was brought to all of our attention that one of the Presidential candidates (one of the TWO candidates) said that he can "grab them (women) by the pussy." He talked about fucking married women (his words, not mine) and describing a woman by her 'new tits.' People love him. And my baby girl is going to be born in 6 months.

   
   

   Truth be told, my naive self envisions a perfect world for her - but our world is far from perfect. We need to stop pointing at others and saying someone else and/or the system is the problem - because we can't do anything about other people and we can't snap our fingers and change the system. We can change ourselves - we can speak differently (or stop staying silent), we can open our hearts and minds and arms to people who are different than us. We can learn about people who aren't like us and expand ourselves. If we teach our girls to love themselves and our boys to be good people (instead of the idea that boys will be boys) I think things will start changing!

   
   

   Today it feels more important than ever to get Hillary Clinton elected as the next President of the United States! Not only because I admire and respect her and believe in what she will do but we can't validate the beliefs of that man! Having him as President will make it scarier to be a woman - it will make it harder for by unborn baby girl.  It would put a huge approval stamp on our current rape culture. It will take women back decades!
   
   But lets be clear, when Hillary is elected there will still be a lot of work to be done!

   
   

   Ny friend Norma breaks it down:

   
   

   I worked as a bartender and a server for many years, and men have said so many horrible, demeaning things to me and women I've worked with. I'd take it usually with a deep sigh or an eye roll when I headed back to the kitchen. Sometimes, with nothing. Mostly, I'd shrug them off with coworkers during or after, licking my wounds with rocks, salt, and a lime. 

   I worked in the Capitol, and received my fair share of pats on the ass, off-putting winks, and unsolicited advances. Sometimes it was fun. Sometimes it was dangerous. Sometimes it was scary. Sometimes I told people, and sometimes that got me in trouble. Sometimes I told no one because the situation felt like a threat to my future or career. 

   I work in party politics and I get called a girl. I get looked up and down, I get my qualifications and credentials questioned. I get harassed on social media. Sometimes I feel alone. Sometimes I deserve it. Sometimes I get really angry. Mostly, I make every effort not to care because I know how important our work is, combined and intertwined, and that our work is always going to have divots carved out by differences and ignorance. Our work won't be done, ever, and so sometimes I ignore the offenses by my own blue team because I can: I have immense privilege, I have immense access, and I have immense opportunity should I choose to pursue it with thick skin and a duck's back. 

   So now, we're all faced with a man who uses concepts of violence in both combat and disregard against everyone other than himself. This latest assault, "grab her by the pussy", is haunting. We're all faced with denouncing this kind of sexual violence from a presidential candidate, and I'm glad. Denounce the fuck out of it. But, if you aren't aware, this behavior happens to women all around you, every day. It doesn't end when the camera stops, just as state violence against black men doesn't end there, either. 

   And, if you're a woman going through this shit, who feels a trigger by the fact that a presidential candidate is a culprit much like the bro who made you feel uncomfortable enough to dial 911 and keep your finger hovering above dial while you're walking through LODO, much like a date who grabs your arm when you tell him you don't want to stay the night, much like any person who makes you feel small when you speak up: unhinge. Yes, we go high, and if that feels right, keep going high. But, sometimes, there's also space for speaking up, finding an ally, and saying, "Fuck politeness." You deserve it, and I hope you find a space to say it, even though you shouldn't have to find a fucking space.

   
   

   I hope all my family and friends welcome the identity of feminist!  We need to build an army! There is so much at stake - for starters, every woman's safety. 

   Little Poppy and all the other little babies - boys and girls - are depending on US - not someone else - they are depending on US to create a better world. Let's get to it!
   
   And lets start by electing Hillary Clinton!