2 Weeks + 1 day

 

There is so much to share! Jette has been here for 15 days and everyday new things are happening. Her noises, the amount she poops and pees, her adorable facial expressions, the people she meets, etc.  I am doing my best to write all this stuff down - I don't want to forget anything. But then I realize I can't keep that up forever. I swear I won't be the mom that is writing down every little thing my teenager does... at least I won't let my teenager know about it...

So far parenting has been much different than I expected. I kinda sorta don't want to be completely honest about how it's been - but I feel it's important to be honest because well, perhaps other people experience what I'm experiencing too. Most people say things like, 'Aren't you completely in love with your baby?' I haven't been completely honest in my response - I'm like, 'oh my goshhhhh - it is the best, she is the best!' when really I want to say, 'my baby is pretty awesome and we are in the process of falling in love.'

It has been hard that I haven't felt this instant out of this world love for her. I actually have felt a little bit guilty. Right this second I find myself wanting to say - I mean, don't get me wrong, I love her and she is amazing - to avoid judgement or something.

It's just been different than I thought it would be.

I compare Jette to a late night fire. I can stare at her for hours without saying a word. I get lost in wonder about her life. I have memorized her face - her entire body actually and love every sound that she makes. I think I bounce between shock, awe and immense gratitude.

A few things that I want to highlight - this parenting thing has highlighted what a good team Erin and I are. My love and appreciation for Er is the thing that has grown! Watching her go through labor and delivery and then watching her diligently care for Jette while doing her best to care for her body as it heals has been the most inspiring things I have ever witnessed, no question. I watch my girls work together as they learn to breast feed, have story time, fall asleep together - and many other things - and my heart feels like it could burst.



Jette has brought a special spirit or vibe into our home and inside my heart. Our home feels calm, peaceful and tender and my anxiety has totally subsided. It's like she's magic.





Last thing - life has been all about us for the last month or so. We have been pretty self and family focused which, obviously, we just had a baby. It felt extra good to go participate in something that wasn't for us. We made our first public outing to the IF Project fundraiser and I was fortunate enough to be able to participate. If you want to do something good for someone else today, donate to the If Project - or at least check it out: www.theifproject.com.