We had our first ultrasound today. We saw Poppy! She's amazing! And it turns out I want to own an ultrasound machine. They are incredible! With every move of the wand we could see a different part of her. It seemed like she was dancing and then it seemed she was waving - the ultrasound technician pointed it out. I kept looking at Erin's belly and imagining her in there. Geez, I am so eager to meet her!
We could see her heart and her stomach and her little hands and feet. We didn't hear her heart beat but we learned that her heart is beating 167 beats/per minute. Normal is between 120-180. We didn't only see her head but we saw her brain. That's when I told Erin I want to buy one of the machines. I want to watch Poppy all day and night!
Since the last post Erin and I went out on the town again - this time for Lisa's 30th birthday. I (FINALLY) got to take advantage of my designated driver (after 2 beers)! I know Erin isn't feeling great but she is determined to get out and about and push it. She has been incredibly accommodating to me. It seems backwards - it should be the other way around - but I am thankful. Also, I gotta say it, the highlight of that particular night was ordering the beer highlighted below. Being with Erin to celebrate Lisa's birthday was a close 2nd! ;)
Names are a funny thing. I don't know the process my parents went through to decide on 'Chelsea' but if it was anything like our process of deciding a name for baby girl, I feel for them. I feel for every parent that has ever participated in the process of naming their child! It's stressful!
We are 99% sure we have decided on Poppy's name. We said it aloud weeks ago and loved it, we have texted it back and forth and I doodle it during meetings and when I'm procrastinating at work. I like the way it looks - and the last week I've been calling her by this particular name - just to make sure I like the way it sounds. I don't want her to not like her name. Picking a proper name feels incredibly important -we don't want to mess this up!
Today is the start of week 12 - we are nearly done with the first trimester! Poppy is the size of a kiwi. Last week our app said she was the size of a lime. Isn't a lime bigger than a kiwi? haha. Most of her organs are developed and functioning - totally wild! She has fingers and toes and she can already chew and swallow. Her heart is working hard and her digestive system is starting to work. This week her body is developing white blood cells and her pituitary glad is producing hormones that will allow her the opportunity to be a mom some day if she chooses. Totally crazy!
As for Erin - this week she has developed a rash on her belly. A few days ago she used Palmers Tummy Butter - it is supposed to help prevent stretch marks. BEWARE! She broke out in a horrible rash and google has introduced story after story of other women who have experienced the same thing from this product. It's horribly uncomfortable for her! The information online says the rash should go away in a week or so.
Erin is getting bigger. She's still far from having a baby bump - at least anything that is noticeable. Last night I had plans to take her out on the town but the night was cut short because she needed to get home to take her pants off and put on some sweats! haha.
Week 6 vs Week 12
Week 11 vs Week 12 (with a rash)
She's also having a hard time sleeping. Erin is a back sleeper and it's becoming very uncomfortable - and she isn't used to sleeping on her side - which has resulted in a lot of tossing and turning at night. We are hoping to construct something with pillows to help. Perhaps it's time to invest in a body pillow or something.
Pregnancy has been a special experience so far. Erin feels like she is already bonding with Poppy. I do too - in a different way. I am loving learning about what's happening with Poppy with the baby apps and baby books. The speed of development is incredible. And watching Erin be so diligent in caring for herself and baby girl! It's incredibly special.
We have our first ultrasound Monday. GAHHHHH! I'm so eager to see our little Poppy on the screen!
Also, THIS! We are going to need to find good options for Poppy!
You guys. The medical world is amazing. We are 11 weeks along - last week we were (obviously) 10 weeks and during our appointment Erin had her blood drawn for a standard chromosome test and today we learned that WE ARE HAVING A GIRL (and that there aren't any chromosome abnormalities)!
Erin got a call. She was nice enough to tell the nurse that she wanted to wait to find out the news until we were together. So I rushed home after work - to her work and we opened an email. Alisha was there and caught it on video.
This is what we read
We texted Kolby right away. He's over the moon! And then we reached out to our parents. I think Erin's dad is the most excited of all - it's adorable. His baby girl is having a baby girl. <3
It seems fitting that we found out that we're having a baby girl just hours before the Presidential Debate featuring Hillary Clinton - the first female presidential nominee. Incredible. I am confident that our baby girl is going to be born into a country where women and girls can be President of the United States because I believe a woman will be the President (go Hillary!) I believe our baby will live in a world and in a country that will support her dreams. I believe women and girls will be safer because I believe that our generation is raising kids, both boys and girls, to treat women and girls with more respect than ever before and as equals - because we are!
We are wondering who she is going to be - what will drive and motivate her. We wonder about her aspirations and the things that will annoy her. We hope her moms don't annoy her - at least not too much. We wonder what it will be like in our home on nights like tonight with another little person hanging out with us. We wonder about how our lives will change and about the love we know we will feel. We wonder if she'll like the ocean as much as the mountains and if she'll prefer piano music over rugby. Is she athletic or musical or tech savvy or into working with her hands? Maybe all or some or none of the above. Whoever she is and whatever she likes we hope to give her all the love and guidance she needs to be the person she is meant to be.
We already love our daughter. OH MY GOSH I AM GOING TO HAVE A DAUGHTER! She is already changing my life!
Poppy is a girl. Holy moly, poppy is a girl!
(Erin is freaking out saying 'we have a daughter' 'my daughter' 'daughter, daughter, daughter' - and it's the cutest!)
This week has been quite spectacular. We heard Poppy's heartbeat (which continues to make me awe struck!) and we have been flooded with love and support from others after making our news public. We have engaged in many conversations where people express their hope, faith and confidence in our ability to raise a person. It's beyond nice to have people around us that believe in us so much - and who will be there to help us along the way. It's no question that we will continue to rely on our village when Poppy is born and we feel lucky and extremely blessed that baby will be fiercely loved and cared for by the people in our lives! What a lucky baby!
Today we start week 11. Erin is starting to feel 'fuller'. Last night as she was getting into bed she had to change her sweatpants into a pair that had a looser waistband. Her nausea has subsided quite a bit and her appetite continues to be incredible! She has extremely vivid dreams - most are hilarious and make absolutely no sense. Last night she dreamt that she cut her legs off because she wanted to be a starfish. Every morning I wait to hear about the ridiculous things that went through her mind while I was sound asleep!
Week 8 vs Week 11
Aside from the pregnancy stuff we wonder what the world will be like when Poppy is old enough to be do things without his/her moms. There was another shooting last night - not too far from our home in Seattle. We were watching the news and we learned that 4 people were killed. I was sad - and my thoughts immediately went to Poppy. I wish the world was more worthy of housing our child - and all the other children that are and that are coming.
We have collectively messed things up. There is far too much fear and hate and entitlement - and way too often we pass the blame to someone else. I have been motivated to do my part in making the world a better place and spreading love and light as often as possible - it's part of my make up. I am more motivated now. I am motivated by my Poppy. I don't exactly what to do - but I'll do my best!
I hope we can all take responsibility to what's happening in our country and in our communities and do what we can to make a difference. Think of others better. Speak of others better. Treat others better. Learn about someone different that you. Keep an open heart. And do you best at loving and forgiving yourself.
Today we heard the heartbeat. THE HEARTBEAT. There is a person growing in Erin's belly and it already has a tiny little heart that is beating. Incredible.
We finally made the social media announcement today. The amount of love and support we've been shown in the last couple hours has been incredible. I've wanted to tell people for awhile now - it's my nature to share things with people - but I was a bit nervous to share this because of fear of judgement from people in my life, particularly people back home. On the other hand the fear of the judgement makes me want to shout it from the rooftops to get it over with. It seems my fear wasn't necessary - it seems fear is never necessary - there has been nothing but love, support and excitement!
After our appointment we went to Starbucks to celebrate - although must of the celebration was done in silence. It seemed we were both stuck in our own thoughts as we exchanged awkward little giggles. It's obvious we were both in shock. Today made everything real. We are having a baby!
This baby is already so deeply loved. This baby has been thought of and planned for for longer than Erin and I have been together. Being a mother is something I have wanted longer than anything in my life - and today I heard my baby's heartbeat. It is something I will never forget.
I loved little Poppy before this morning but my love for little Poppy has grown 100x since hearing that fast thud over and over again.
We are at the start of week 10 and Poppy is the size of a kumquat. It's incredible that just 4 weeks ago Poppy was the size of a poppy seed. This week baby already has most of the vital organs. Mind blown. Pregnancy and how we all came to be is more of a miracle than anything I know of.
Erin is feeling okay. She is tired and sometimes she's nauseous. But goodness, no complaints! We have heard horror stories of people we know - people who are sick - like so, so sick their entire pregnancy. Erin continues to work, workout and hang out with me. Her appetite is off the charts and I think it's cute. She told me she ate an entire pizza for dinner and was still hungry afterwards. haha. Keep eating, girl!
We are totally getting our home ready for baby. Today we filled up our Honda Element to the brim with stuff and took it to Goodwill. We are on a serious purge to make room for baby. It feels nice to rid our closets and corners and drawers of things we don't need. My body feels different, Erin's too - we feel lighter - and being in our house feels much better!
Last night was pretty funny. Erin woke me up and told me she thought she was feeling Poppy move. She put my hand on her belly. I didn't feel anything at first - she told me to put my hand on her belly again. I felt something! I was so excited. I fell asleep with my hand on her belly and thoughts of what little Poppy was doing in there. When I woke up this morning I looked on google "feeling your baby at 10 weeks pregnant." Turns out I didn't feel Poppy at all. I felt gas bubbles. I got super excited about gas bubbles. Awesome.
We have our first doctors appointment on Tuesday morning. I am so eager! I mean, all we really have to know that we're pregnant is a pregnancy test. It will be nice to hear the words, "YOU'RE PREGNANT!" from a doctor. Although I doubt it'll be said with the kind of excitement that I'm currently imagining.
My pregnant wife is tired and wants me to snuggle her. I better go. We only have a six months left of baby free snuggles. OH MY GOD I am so excited for nights of wife and baby snuggles! I could die!
Until next week, or maybe until Tuesday after our appointment, I love you little kumquat!
Turns out I am obsessed with every baby thing I look at. I'm obsessed with little socks and shoes and baby swings and little mittens - oh my goodness, little mittens. I might die. It's quite possible that we go broke when Poppy is born but at least baby will have cute little mittens (and every other adorable baby thing I can't help myself from buying).
Last weekend we went to Babies R Us to push around strollers and look at carseats. I loved being in that store around all the baby stuff and all the new parents or soon to be parents. GAHHHH! I wanted to hug every single person. I also wanted to plead with all of them to teach their son and/or daughter to be kind. I hope Poppy becomes friends with nice kids. I hope Poppy is a nice kid.
It was cute when we found a stroller we liked. We sat down by it and looked at all the little functions and then tried to fold it up with one hand. When we found a carseat/ carrier we picked it up, swung it around and imagined how easy it'd be to get it in and out of our two cars. We sat in rockers and imagined holding and singing songs to Poppy. I hope I can convince Erin to spend our weekly date nights at Babies R Us for the rest of our lives. :)
Poppy is now the size of a cocktail olive - and it already has arms and legs, tooth buds and most of the organs have started to develop. Erin is feeling better. She eats a lot and feels like she could sleep every minute of the day but the nausea feeling is gone and there is absolutely no baby bump. Goll, I am so eager for that to show up. Erin is still working all day and working out - it's quite inspiring to watch her.
