2019

It's the first night of 2019 and one of my resolutions in relation to better self care is to get back on the blog. I love blogging - having our pregnancy documented week by week is special. It allows me remember things that I'd otherwise forget and honestly, I am a better, more intentional person when I sit down with myself and see what's going on in my heart and mind.

The new year showed up at the perfect time for me. I'm ready to take all I learned in 2018 and walk into the new year determined, hopeful and thankful.  I'm not sure what it is about a new year opposed to a new day that gives this kind of fresh outlook and idea of a new start. Whatever it is though, I'm thankful for it. This year will be better than last. I will be kinder, healthier, spend more time doing things that fill my soul and with people that build me up. I will forgive myself and others more easily and spend my energy trying to do my part to make the world a bit better in a more intentional way. And I'll blog about it to keep myself accountable!

I'm going to keep this short. I have a desire to try and recap everything that has happened since my last blog post. Quick summary: Some of it was great. Some of it was hard. There was a job change, vocal cord paralysis, home projects, being obsessed with all the new things Jette learned to say or do, there was a lot of listening and learning and growing and a lot of forgiving, there was a lot of saying "STOP THROWING YOUR FOOD!" as calmly as possible.

2018 was wonderful and inspiring in a lot of ways. This year a spotlight shined light on some of the beautiful things in the world, in my family and in myself. 2018 was also hard and heartbreaking in a lot of ways - because of the same spotlight. I'm glad I got to experience it all.

And now it's 2019. Here we go. And here's my 2019 motto!

13 months

Jette is 13.5 months. She runs, dances, seems to love finding little places to sit (a stepstool, pillow, the curb or a step) and claps after she sits. It's really cute to watch her. She carefully backs up (oh yeah, she's learned how to walk backward), puts her little booty against what she's going to sit on and then plops down. She is trying to jump, she puts nearly everything up to her ear and pretends to talk on whatever the item is, she gives hugs, she says dog, nana (for grandma and banana), ball, shoe, mama, papa and pu instead of up. She understands a lot. We can tell her to get a book and her shoes and she walks straight to the bathroom when we ask if she wants to take a bath. She knows where her nose is along with her belly button and toes. She does downward dog when we say 'yoga baby' and she sometimes gives hugs and kisses when we ask.

She is developing strong opinions. She knows what she likes and she knows what she doesn't like - and she isn't afraid to let us know. She rather be outside than inside and it seems she rather eat dirt than a lot of actual food. She is becoming more picky of an eater but we're committed to continue giving her all sorts of foods -even when a lot of them end up on the floor. She giggles more and her giggles are my absolute favorite.

Parenting is still becoming more fun for me. I hear it is going to be that way until teenage years. If that is the case, I am in for the time of my life because everyday seems to be a little better than the last because more of her little personality comes out. I love being a mom - it is even better than I imagined. I gotta say though, staying connected to Erin is harder than I thought. We are constantly working on it and it is hard. I feel lucky to have her and I'm thankful I get to do life with her. She is my best friend - I just wish I got to see my best friend friend a bit more.

Luckily we are going to Vancouver this weekend! <3

1 Year Old

I am weepy and I haven't really said anything yet. Just thinking about the last year has the (grateful and where the heck has the last year gone) tears rolling. My baby girl had her 1st birthday on Tuesday. One year ago from right now I had a 4 day old baby. A year ago from now I was in shock, I was overwhelmed and felt way in over my head. I was in love - in love with Jette but mostly in love with Erin. She had just done the most incredible thing I had ever been apart of - and I'm not just talking about the birth, although she was wonder woman during it, - she was incredible the entire pregnancy.

It took me a few weeks, maybe a few months, to let my new normal settle in. I thought I had prepared my entire life to me a mom but I quickly learned that I was ill prepared. I mean, we had all the stuff and I had more love for my new baby than I knew what to do with but let's get real, I missed Erin at first. I didn't anticipate the changes that would occur in our relationship. When baby came focus (obviously) changed. Our pregnancy was one of the most beautiful times of our relationship. We spent more time together than usual. We planned and prepared for baby and talked about every little thing. I was in constant awe of Erin as she cared for herself and our little nugget she was growing inside of her. I knew she'd be the best mom because of the way she cared for herself during the pregnancy. And I was right. From the first second Jette arrived (actually, not the first second because Erin was passed out. She woke up about 30 seconds after J arrived) Erin has been the very best mom.

Jette has obviously changed our dynamic and yeah, it was an adjustment at first. But you guys, being a mom is the coolest thing I have ever done and I feel confident it is the coolest thing I will ever do.

I have learned so much about myself. I am a better person in a lot of ways. It's incredible how this little human has influenced me even though she isn't able to speak. It feels my life has a bigger purpose. I am more committed to find and amplify the good in myself and others because I hope so much that Jette will do the same. I get excited to show her new things. I rush home at the end of the day so I can hang out with her as long as I can before she goes to sleep.

So what's new with her? She is walking and saying a couple words. Mama and dog for sure. We gave her a little basketball hoop for her birthday and she already knows where the ball goes (and I die every time). Her favorite toys seems to be socks and cardboard boxes. She has 7 or 8 teeth. She continues to be a great eater. She started swim lessons - has had 3 so far - and seems to like it. She spent last weekend in Utah with my family and loved being with her cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents. I loved watching her with all of them. It certainly made me miss home and wish that Jette had cousins closer.

This last year has been the best, most challenging, most rewarding, self reflective year I've had yet. I am thankful for it. I am thankful for the opportunity to be Jette's mom. I am thankful I get to do it with Erin. I'm excited to continue to get to know Jette and learn all of the things she has to teach me.

Sooo - happy 1st birthday to my baby girl. My birthday wish for her is that she will continue to learn and grow and shine. I am eager for the memories that we'll make and I'm excited to see how our relationship develops and grows. I love you.

A few pictures of our trip to Utah.

My mom has been asking Erin to give her a Chelsea haircut for a few years now. Finally happened.

Addi and Ben teaching J how to be a big kid

Kolby's family came to the party to spend time with us. Jette is a lucky baby to have a 3rd set of grandparents!

My sibs on our walk to church. I love them.

Missing mom and Jess but loved this day at the park

CAKE SMASH!

11 Months

Jette is 11 months and a week old and she has officially won me over. I mean, she did before now but it's different. We joke, we play hide and seek and our own version of tag. I can teach her things like how to turn around to go down the stairs and then she does it (and she teaches me things like how to get excited about nearly everything). She took 3 steps yesterday without holding on to anything. Erin and I freaked out. We were beaming with pride! I am so glad we were both there to see it.

She dances, she claps, she falls forward on the pillows, love sac and couch. She lets me know when she wants to go outside to her swing. She does a pretty impressive downward dog and points at every single thing and say's , 'eh?' It seems she's asking what everything is. She likes lights and is obsessed with dogs and cats. She eats at the table with us and seems to like most everything we eat. To put simply, Jette is a bright light in our home and in my heart.

We went to church this morning. We found a church close by - Eastlake Community Church - and I love it. Today the discussion was about the resurrection - not so much Christ resurrecting but how it is possible for us to resurrect every single day. I love the concept and it feels so relevant to me in my life right now. Put the old away and step into my current full and whole self. Love it (and so thankful we've found a place that feels welcoming and safe) So in the vein of it being Easter I have a wish for Jette. My wish for her is that she is exactly who she is and is confident in it. And then when who she is changes - or ideas/beliefs of hers change my wish for her that she steps into that. I hope she’s always exactly who she is and I hope that I can help provide a space for her that supports her ever changing self.

Saying I love being Jette's mom is the understatement of the year. It was hard at first - didn’t know if I was cut out for it for a little while - but now I am completely into it - more than Ive been into anything. That little human has taught me more than anyone else. She absolutely makes me a better person. She motivates and inspires me. And goodness gracious, she makes me laugh!

I can hardly believe that next month marks 1 year. Wow!

10 Months

Jette is 10 months old.

Jette is 10 months old.

Where has the time gone?

She is crawling, standing, waving - waving to whoever will give her attention, she reaches for people (I die every time she reaches for me), she eats everything we eat, her little personality comes out more and more and her giggles are the best! Being her mom brings me so much joy and happiness.

Saying a lot has happened since the last blog post is an understatement. Our little family has gone through a lot - good and hard and bitter and sweet. Erin and I have concluded that there has been a tremendous amount of change in the last year and even though all the change, or most of it, has been good we haven't handled it great - collectively or individually  (I think Erin has handled it like a champ. She says she hasn't though which is why I'm saying 'we' and 'individually'). Through it all though we love each other, we are obsessed with our kid, we are heathy, we work hard, we're making plans for our future and we're making time for fun. 

We went to Thailand for a couple weeks. We left Feb 3 and returned on the 18th. It was special. It feels incredible that we were able to take 2 weeks off life and go to a such a magical place. Most of the Thai people that we talked to had never left the country. We felt thankful for our privilege - for our jobs, for vacation time, for good healthcare (incase we ate something that didn't agree with us) and for good health that allowed us to be there and do the things we're able to do. Experiencing the people, the beauty, the simplicity - at least on the island we visited - was such a gift. Jette was a major hit. People loved holding her, taking pictures of and with her and trying to get her to wave at them. Jette loved the attention, she loved the food - she demanded to eat everything we ate and seemed to eat adult sized servings, she started to crawl on her knees (instead of army crawling) and she loved being in the water. Traveling with a baby has it's challenges no doubt but I'm glad we did it. It would've been hard to be away from her that long and her being there provided a lot of laughs and opportunities for Erin and I to work together. 

J did great on the long flights. Red eye flights seem to be key for long flights. She slept most of the way. We took a few midday in-country flights that were between 1 and 2 hours and those flights seemed to be much harder for the babe than the long ones. Baby girl wants to be mobile!

While we were in Thailand we talked a lot about life since Jette's arrival. We talked about all the change that's occurred and the times we wish we would've done things differently. We talked about our house and projects we want to do. The night we got home we immediately started to rearrange 2 of the rooms as we discussed while being away. We talked about supporting each other in different ways and how it's important to communicate even when we're tired. We've been home less than 1 week and it already feels different in our home. I love that vacation can do that. More vacation. :) 

This is a poor recap of the last two months. To sum it up I feel more connected, in love and curious about Jette. I am incredibly thankful for Erin - and that is the understatement of the year. She is the most kind and understanding person I know AND she's such a good mom to our baby. I am learning more about myself and working to become a better version of me. I am putting time and attention on my spiritual self and that feels good. 

I'm sitting here still finding it hard to believe that Jette is 10 months old. Where did the time go?!

8 Months

Jette is 8 months and 7 days old. Tonight is New Years Eve. A week has already passed since Christmas Eve. I remember last New Years Eve like it was yesterday. We were in Rosyln for Brenan and Lacey's wedding which was on the 30th. We went snowshoeing on New Years Eve with Erica and Jacquie. We were 5 months pregnant. We went snowshoeing again today - this time with an 8 month old. Today I am truly amazed how quickly time moves.

The last month has been special. Getting ready for Christmas - getting out the decorations and finding a tree. It has always felt special but doing it with my little family made it feel even more special. Then actually going to Utah to celebrate was a highlight of the year. I get pretty homesick a few times a year - and I was homesick for a few weeks before we went home. Being there for just a few days filled my tank and made being away okay. I loved watching Jette with my family - particularly Tol, Addi and Ben. Jette is a lucky girl to get those kids as cousins (and I am one lucky auntie!)! Nils and Ashley weren't able to make it to Utah this year because they are expecting their second baby in a few weeks but the rest of us were there and it was great. A lot of love and laughter and of course a few heated political conversations. :) My family can't spend too much time together without getting into healthy debates. I appreciate those conversations so much because we try and understand each other and even though some of us firmly disagree we generally end conversations with an "i love you." There were several times while we were in Utah I got weepy because my heart was full of so much gratitude. I love my family and I love that Jette gets to be apart of them.

We were able to see Kolby and that was a treat. Jette seems to adore him. She is starting to get to that stage where she doesn't like being held by people she doesn't know well. She didn't have a problem with Kolby. It was sweet. Kolby spent a couple hours at my parents house on the 26th and played the piano and sang with Curtis. Those couple hours were the highlight of my trip.

What else - we got all of our accommodations for Thailand booked. We leave February 3rd and return the 18th. I'm very much so looking forward to it but intimidated by the long flight with the baby. Work is going well for both of us. We like Kenmore - we've been to Saint Edwards Park, Erin takes J to story time at the library, Erin has become a permeant fixture at the local Cross Fit gym and we are much closer to the mountains.

Jette is so fun and seems to get more fun by the day. Her smiles (which now has 2 little teeth), her giggles, her movements - everything about her is fun and better than the day before. I love her so much and I'm so glad she's mine.

2017 was a great year. It brought so many blessings - things I have wanted my entire life - and so much change. My baby, a new job, our house, deepened friendships, self growth, a lot of love and so much more. I'm eager to see what 2018 has in store. Herrrrrrrre we go!

7 Months

Jette is 7 months and 12 days. Time is a cruel, cruel thing! It goes by too quickly except for when you want it to go fast and then it goes incredibly slow. But it generally goes too fast PARTICULARLY when you have a baby - the time, at least for me, that I want to remember every detail and I can't remember anything because I am too scattered and too sleep deprived.

Even still, Jette is everything. That little person has such a big personality - she's fun and funny and mobile and interactive and responsive and she certainly has strong opinions about things. She is happy - except for when she isn't and when she isn't, oh man, she will let me know! She is a great eater and has once again turned into a great sleeper and she has two little teeth that are poking out. She loves baths and to be sung to. She likes tasting new things and she holds her bottle with one hand like it isn't a big deal. She does this thing where she moves her lips with her fingers when she makes a sound - she does it often and it makes us laugh every time.


Jami and Dan came to visit a few weeks ago. It was so nice to have Jami here - Dan too! They were the first out of town visitors to the new house and they helped with a handful of house projects - which was so nice! We explored the city, went to a Seahawks game, visited a lot and raked nearly 900lbs of leaves - no joke. 900. I go through spurts of being homesick - mostly homesick for my siblings - so having Jami here helped hold me over until Christmas.

Only a few more weeks until I get to home with my family. I am looking forward to it so much - being home, being with my family, being in the snow, being near my mountains. I will enjoy our decorated house in the meantime.


Thanksgiving was great. I don't remember a Thanksgiving feeling so grateful. I am grateful for my life, for my family, for my job - Erin's too - and the things that our work provides. Our house, our things, our healthcare, etc- and so much satisfaction because we are able to make a difference in our own way. I missed my family on Thanksgiving - I normally do on holidays - but we were with Erin's family and that was nice.


Our house is still coming together. We have purchased a few pieces which makes it feel better - a lot more homey. We're getting new windows next week and getting our wood burring fireplace fixed - and in a few weeks we're getting a gas insert. Our house is a bit cold and drafty so all of those things will help a lot! Then in the spring we plan to update the kitchen but we'll see when that happens - no rush. My colleague let us borrow her wood splitter so we've been going crazy with that thing and now we have a shed full of wood. House projects for days and more yard work than I've ever done!

Being a mom is wonderful - and so much different than I thought. I romanticized it so much before Jette actually arrived. It is as good as I thought it would be - it's better than I thought it would be AND it is much harder than I ever considered too. And it isn't the mom part that is hard - it's being a mom while I'm still a person that likes to work a lot, have deep connections with friends and spend time with my wife - among so many other things. Jette makes life so much sweeter and she has changed me in so many ways that I will try to capture in words - she motivates me like no one ever has to work hard - not only because I want to provide for her but because I want her to watch her mom make a difference in the world. She makes me more intentional about serving others and being around her makes me more aware of God in my life. She makes it easier to disconnect and be present - although that is still hard for me sometimes. She makes me smile and laugh a lot and when she is around I tend to sing more. Being Jette's mom makes me think of my parents often and my heart bursts with gratitude for them and the sacrifices they made and continue to make for me. I feel more connected to God in a way that I haven't felt in years - and I don't even know what that means anymore but I feel connected and I am grateful for that. Jette seems to be the greatest miracle of my life. Not just that she is an amazing little human - but that she is mine. Never in a million years did I really think I could or would have her. I am so thankful - thankful to live during a time when it's okay and possible for a family like mine to exist, thankful I am healthy so I am able to enjoy it, thankful that I can provide for her - and thankful for 1million other things, too. I feel so blessed. And I will do my best to pay it forward!