False Positive

"False positive. You're fine."

I asked him to repeat himself.

"False positive. You're fine." I started to cry instantly. He told me I didn't need to cry - what he said was good. I told him I couldn't hold it in. I felt so much relief and gratitude and love.

He had gone through my results before I got there. He noticed that I haven't had any symptoms. He also saw that both of my parents have autoimmune disorders - which is likely why my results were positive. He wanted to confirm - he asked how felt. Besides my anxiety, I feel good! He told me that he has considered all of the information and the answer is a false positive.

It's the best thing I have heard since July 5th (aside from we're pregnant, of course). I'm totally healthy! I can now focus on our growing baby and fun things I want to do with my family instead of worrying about my health and wonder about every possibility. Dr. Norman Simon gave me a lot of good information - like I am more likely to have a slightly high result because of my genetics and that women get more false positives than men. Dr Simon said he treats people not blood tests and since I don't have symptoms there is nothing to treat. He walked me through my metabolic blood results - every single line item was normal - which pointed to a false positive ANA test.

Not a lot of what he said made sense because I don't understand medical jargon but he kept reassuring me that I was fine. I interrupted him midsentence and asked if I could hug him. I cried tears of gratitude the entire appointment. Dr. Simon is such a good doctor. Although I didn't understand much (part of that could be because I was so relieved and emotional) he took time to explain things and he was so reassuring - he was personal and had the kindest eyes.

My heart is finally beating at a normal rate. The first time since July 5th. I feel 100 lbs lighter. Instant relief. I am so thankful. I am thankful for my life. For my healthy body. I am thankful for my support network. I am thankful for this little (or giant) scare because I have been introduced to the importance of loving and caring for myself in a much better way.

I am especially grateful that I get to stop worrying about this and use my headspace to focus on my growing family, working hard and creating moments with people I love. Through it all, through all that I do, I will love and care for myself in a better way - Poppy is depending on it!